Six Things Brides Would Do Differently
Ever want honest answers about things Brides would do differently when it comes to their wedding day? It’s a question that I’m sure all engaged friends have asked their married friends. Let’s face it, weddings are expensive. And some times, vendors have to be cut from the budget because couples just can’t afford it. But maybe cutting out that vendor instead of cutting back on the guest list is going to be what you regret in 5 years when you think back on your wedding day.
Here are six things that Brides would do differently if they could do it all over again. Learn from these Brides because it’s your wedding day. The day goes fast, and god willingly, you’re only getting one shot at this. Unless you have a vow renewal. But let’s face it, who’s going to crave a vow renewal if their wedding day was perfect in the first place?
6 – Ignoring Parental Requests
Let’s face it, 75% of couples are getting monetary help from their parents so often times Brides feel like they have no choice but to give in to the requests of Moms. Inviting your great-aunts granddaughter’s son’s cousin who you’ve only ever met once in your life, when you were five seems asinine to you, but makes total sense to your Mom.
Here’s what some past Brides had to say about Parent Issues:
- Families can often suck the fun out of planning by adding stress and needing to please everyone. It’s your day so it should be a reflection of you and your partner, with respectful consideration for families. But not be centered around stressful arguments with controlling family members. Have fun – you’re in love, remember?!
- My parents felt it was their day and I tried to do a lot of their choices, but wanted to do our own invitation and when they received the invitation they were livid (I had mine and my fiance’s name announcing the wedding and they wanted their name announcing it) We paid for all of our wedding so I felt it was ok to make that decision at the least. In the end they didn’t speak to me on my wedding day. But it taught me that it’s not the wedding day that’s nearly as important as the marriage.
- I wish I would have taken more time to plan and do what I wanted rather than what my mom wanted. However it was difficult since they were the ones laying for my wedding.
- I wish I would have done what I wanted and not what my mother wanted. Looking back those were the only things that I wasn’t happy with about our wedding day. Everything turned out great, but when I think about the details, the things I didn’t like we’re the things that she insisted on getting her way. I would tell other brides to be to make sure they do things the way they want.
- I just say this because in the end I felt like I was trying to please my in law by trying to include a bunch of people who my Husband and I hardly knew.
- Don’t listen to your mother- have the wedding you want!
My best advice is find a polite way to remind the parents that you are so thankful for all their help, but that you have a vision for your wedding day that you’re so excited to see come to life, and while you appreciate their opinions, their point of view isn’t how you see your wedding day unfolding
5 – Couples would have had a Destination Wedding or just Eloped
Wedding Planning is stressful. Throw in some unruly bridesmaids, a jealous sister, and parent drama, you have the recipe of an absolute disaster. Some Brides, if given the chance, they would had choose not to deal with this recipe and just run off with the love of their life to elope or have a much simpler wedding with a destination wedding. After all, the day is about you and your soon-to-be spouse. It’s never good to be that stressed out during the planning process that you forget what the day is about which is why having a destination wedding or eloping is on the list of things brides would do differently if they were to plan their wedding again.
Here are some things Brides had to say about eloping:
- I wanted to have a destination wedding with a few family members. Because of family, we were guilted into having a wedding at home. I would have rather had a wedding somewhere tropical.
- It was an amazing day. The best day of my life. Honestly though if I had the option to do it all again I would have just ran off and gotten married on a beach with just us. Families make things complicated. All that matters is us and our love. Also we could have saved sooo much cash by eloping!
- In my opinion, traditional weddings aren’t worth the investment. You spend so much money and so much time and don’t get to enjoy even half of it. I would have much preferred to take a vacation somewhere tropical with my fiancé and photographer at the time and had a small party back home.
- We eloped last minute and only invited a handful of people. I do wish we had gotten a photographer that suited our style though, we had a family member who is a professional photographer shoot our day. He did is as an amazing gift but he is very traditional old school.
- I wish we would have eloped. The whole process of planning was very difficult and stressful and I didn’t even pay for it. Because my parents paid for everything, trying to plan what I/we wanted became too stressful and we ended up just letting them plan everything.
4 – Couples Would Do a First Look
I have never heard a couple say the regret doing a first look, but I have heard of couples saying they wish they would had done one instead of waiting for that “moment” walking down the isle. First Looks don’t bring any bad juju into the marriage. First Looks are intimate, romantic, and allow for an extremely stress-free wedding day!
Here are what some Bride’s had to say:
- I thought I wanted that big moment when I first saw my fiancé to be when I walked down the aisle but in hindsight I wish it would have been just the two of us. The big moment in the church was nice but it was overwhelming. I wanted to see who was in the church, watch my future husband, enjoy the walk with my dad all while holding back tears! I would have enjoyed some relaxing time with my future husband earlier in the day doing a first glance.
- I would have changed not having a First Look before the wedding. I think now, I would have loved to have that one private moment with my husband before all the craziness. By the end of the day, we were just exhausted from all of the excitement.
- I would have picked a different church probably that would have allowed for a better timeline. I REALLY wish I would have done a first look. I would have love to more photos with my husband.
3 – Brides would hire a Day of Coordinator
There’s a lot to accomplish the morning you walk down the aisle and become a Mrs. Throw in setting up your big day, making it look exactly the way you have pictured during your engagement and your already long day just got longer. Hiring a day of coordinator to do all the set is one of the many things brides would do differently if they could. Delegating is something many Brides have a hard time doing, especially when it comes to their wedding day.
Here are what some Bride’s had to say:
- I would have hired a wedding planner. It was too much and even though it was exactly what I wanted, I was so stressed out that I couldn’t enjoy it.
- I loved my wedding day. So much planning went into it. I was determined to make it everything I dreamed it would be! Thankfully my husband had some extra cash on hand to cover thing that went above and beyond the budget that my parents made for us. I think maybe if there was one thing I would change it would be that I spent more money and more time on a planner. I had a great photographer and wouldn’t have wanted a different one!
2 – Brides would hire a Videographer
Bride don’t realize how fast their wedding day goes until it’s over. And they wake up the next morning trying to recall the previous day. Hopefully for all Brides it was the best day of their life, but they’ll quickly realize they’re already forgetting some details. Without video, Brides aren’t going to remember vows word for word. This is where video comes into play. Until recently, Bride’s didn’t appreciate what video has to offer which is why videography ranks second in things brides would do differently.
Here are what some Brides had to say:
- I should have had it video taped. I forget the whole day.
- I think one thing I would change was my decision not to use a videographer. At the point I was at in planning budget-wise, I didn’t see the value in paying for one. But looking back, the day went by so quickly and there was so much I didn’t get to see, it would have been special to have a video that I could look back on.
- The only thing I would have added to my wedding day is a videographer. I had an amazing photography team but never even thought about video. Looking back I’d love to have video captured to add to my memories of the day.
1 – Brides would spend more money on photography
Here’s the big one. Photography tops the list of things brides would do differently. TWO out of every FIVE Brides wish they would had spent more on their photographer or done more research to make sure that the photographer is exactly what they want. TWO BRIDES! 40%! Aside from video, it’s the only thing you have left of your wedding day to remember it by. It’s so easy to think that when you hire a friend of friend to do the photos you’re winning here. When really you’re not.
Here are what some Brides had to say and why photography is the number one on the list of things brides would do differently:
- My venue cancelled on me 3 months out. Even though my location was not my dream, I wish I would have had a real photographer to at least capture those intimate moments. I also wish I would have been more specific about what “I” wanted rather than just doing what I thought others would like.
- The only thing I would change about our wedding day was the photographer we chose. We chose a cheaper photographer who didn’t have a lot of experience shooting weddings and the pictures from our big day really proved that. Your wedding is a moment that you want to capture and cherish for years to come and when I look at our wedding photos I don’t reminisce on how wonderful the day was and what was captured in the photos – I focus on how upset I am with the quality of the pictures. All of my ceremony pictures have a green tint to them!
- The photographer was a friend of the family. He didn’t have conversations with us or asked what pictures we wanted. We wound up with no family pictures.
- My photography was gifted to me, which I loved! However, I did not get enough pictures. But I felt I couldn’t really say anything, since it was gifted. Lesson learned at my expense, you can never have enough pictures of your wedding day!
- Although my wedding day was everything I had hoped for, I was somewhat disappointed in the quality of the photographs I received afterwards. They were nice, but they were just lacking in some way. I don’t really feel like there was much editing, just a few hundred photos thrown on a disc for me (though I did like that I was given copyright to them). It’s almost as if they lacked “character.” We did our wedding for around $5,000, but I wish we would have gone with a higher end photographer. We were more focused on saving money so we’d have more to spend on our honeymoon in Italy. The thing is, you get what you pay for. Wedding pictures are what you’ll look at for years to come. Our kids & grandkids will look at those photos someday…now I tell everyone when they get married if they’re worried about a budget: save where you can, but don’t skimp on good quality photos.
- The only thing I would have done different is my photographer, I was the first to get married out of my friends and sister and didn’t have much experience planning a wedding. I picked a photographer without shopping around or asking around more and i regret that a lot.
- We had a family friend take pictures and I wish I would have had a professional. This is one of the biggest days of your life and you to have wonderful pictures to remember the moments.
- I would have spent more money on an excellent, well-established photographer. The only thing I have to show my children of our wedding day are out of focus, poorly lit, poorly executed images. AND I didn’t receive them until half a year after my wedding!
I hope future brides can take the things brides would do differently and plan their own wedding a little different. While weddings are expensive to begin with, consider these six things when planning your wedding. The biggest regret brides have is not hiring a better photographer. Do a google search for the biggest regrets brides have and you’ll find these top posts:
- http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/177621/brides_biggest_wedding_regrets <— Read number 15.
I polled over 300 Brides and next week, I’m sharing the data I received from that poll. Part two of things Brides would do differently is coming up next Wednesday! Don’t miss it!